John W. Jacobs, MD is a board certified psychiatrist practicing in New York City. He is a graduate of Brandeis University where he received his Bachelor of Arts Degree with Honors in Psychology in 1965. In 1969 he received his Medical degree from the Albert Einstein College of Medicine in New York City. After a year of medical internship he became a psychiatric resident at Jacobi Hospital in New York where, in his third year, he was appointed chief psychiatric resident in the out-patient department. Following his residency he became a Fellow in Consultation and Liaison Psychiatry. Between 1973 and 1975 he worked on the medical wards of Montefiore Hospital in the Bronx, NY dealing with the psychiatric problems of patients with medical illnesses.
Over the next 10 years he then served as the Director of Out-Patient and Emergency Psychiatry and the Director of Psychiatric Residency Training at Montefiore Hospital. In 1986 he became the Director of Postgraduate Training in Psychotherapy at the Albert Einstein College of Medicine. He was a student at the New York Psychoanalytic Institute from 1973-1979. During his entire career he has been a teacher and supervisor of psychiatric residents in training. Currently he is a Clinical Associate Professor of Psychiatry and Child and Adolescent Psychiatry at New York University School of Medicine. He teaches couples and family therapy to second year child psychiatry fellows at the NYU Child Study Center.
Beginning in 1975 he became increasingly interested in the problems of married couples and the emotional consequences of divorce. His first peer review paper on the subject, “Divorce and Fatherhood: The Struggle for Parental Identify,” was published as the lead article in the American Journal of Psychiatry in 1983. This was followed by other peer reviewed articles on marriage and divorce and eventually resulted in the publication of his book, All You Need Is Love And Other Lies About Marriage: How To Save Your Marriage Before It’s Too Late, by Harper Collins in 2004.
“Marital unhappiness, dissatisfaction, and divorce are part of the fabric of modern life,” states veteran marriage counselor John W. Jacobs, M.D. Dr. Jacobs is a psychiatrist who has worked with hundreds of couples over the last three decades. He knows just how fragile the bond of marriage is and how difficult preserving it can be. Still, he firmly believes that most couples can create and maintain a mutually satisfying, deeply loving relationship—but only with hard work, diligence, and a reality check.
In All You Need Is Love And Other Lies About Marriage (Amazon Link) Dr. Jacobs presents a radically truthful approach to making marriage work and last. Instead of just focusing on fixing their own or their partner’s psychological flaws, he urges couples to wake up to the world outside of their relationship—and confront the historical and social forces conspiring to undermine marriage. After helping couples get a grasp on reasonable expectations for a better marriage, he arms them with straightforward strategies to stop the destructive spiral of stress, blame, conflict, and alienation. For partners who make the commitment—which requires effective, supportive communication, solid changes in behavior, and respect for each other’s differences—Dr. Jacobs promises the reward of enduring love.
Based on his clinical experience, Dr. Jacobs reveals how a sweeping cultural transformation—involving everything from gains in longevity and the economic independence of women to relentless demands on our time—has encouraged men and women to subscribe to what he calls “the seven lies of marriage.” Drawing on extensive cases of married couples and individuals who have come to him for help, he explores the devastating impact of each lie on interpersonal relationships. Shattering cherished myths about unconditional love, honest communication, egalitarian partnerships, and even the gift of children, Dr. Jacobs offers concrete steps for couples to take to avert or reverse the pernicious influence of false assumptions that set them up for failure.
Dr. Jacobs is in private practice in New York City. Trained as a psychiatrist, he treats patients for depression, anxiety and interpersonal problems. Though best known as a couples therapist, he sees many individual patients and has been conducting group psychotherapy in his office since 1975.